I wrote this and thought I would share. After many years of trying to change myself to please others, I’m sick of being told who to love, especially by my family…Enjoy:
RISE, by Allyson Callahan:
Here I am again, surprise. Back to the thrill and the butterflies. Back chasing curves and sparkling eyes. I tried. I really tried. I know my momma wishes I liked men. I told her over and over again. There’s nothing substantial for me with them. That was then. No offense to the guys out there. I have nothing against you all, I swear. There’s just no attraction; I just don’t care. And women are air. So easy to just breathe in and breathe out. I feel so at home and so free of doubt. I know you can’t see what I’m talking about. I shout. No matter how loud my groans or my cries, you refuse to see the true me inside. So I cover my face in my shame and my lies. I cry. You sigh. Why is this love the forbidden sin? When will acceptance and justice win? I know that it’s hard to let this sink in. Try again. Let me in. I’ll claw at this door till my fingers are bare. Come on, open up, I know you are there. I want you to know and to be well aware: I’m scared. Why should I be forced into this drought? You say I don’t know what I’m talking about. It’s a phase; you say that one day I’ll back out. Such clout. So here I am, my heart and ears both open wide. Tell me you hate me, that I deserve to die. But you’ll never change who I love or why. I’ll rise.