“In The Life Of A Woman”

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Written & submitted by: Nerissa Goff, a writer and a poet – focusing my gatherings of words on liberating and empowering womankind, as a collective. Instagram: @womban_kind

It’s a powerful message and reminder of the journey we are still honoring and walking together, as women; I think it would be a really empowering message to share.

Trigger warning!!!

*******

Sometimes I wonder
if I was more sexually secure at 18,
would I have dived deeper into that exploration.

The conditioning that gently rubs off onto girls,
as young little flowers,
being told to
“pull down your dress, they can see your knickers”
as She of 3, frolics in the playground —disconnected to her body,

because She is a child
— a part of play.

At school; When young Women
are expected and told to wear a bra.
Because God forbid
boys
would be
distracted
by the slight natural erection
of a nipple.

The discomfort of knowing that Harry Cock
has put his fingers
inside every girl in class — but you.
And all the boys tease you,
for being dry
like a prune.

“They are just being boys”
older girls tell her
over and over again.

“They are just silly boys”.
– Her mother soothes her.

She wished She had the guts
to be like Sally Slay,
who sat on any dick she wanted to.

And She always rode on top.

But everyone at School called Her
“A Slut”
Even though Harry Cock took
any girl he wanted to —
You see,
he was “allowed”,
because he was
“The Cool Kid”.

The times
She faked pleasure,
because He was Cool
and so,
He would know — how
to pleasure a Woman.

So, She moans
in his 10 second attempt –
and he lays back like a King,
and She can see
that all the Women before Her,
have faked it too.
Maybe not as well as She did,
but nonetheless,
it was enough for him to believe
that THAT
was IT.

The deep set fear,
of being young
and being left behind.

The hundreds of hours
young Women spend
researching
“the perfect vagina”
and asking the Gods
WHY they have been burdened
with a vagina with lips!

Because all She could find
over the security software her dad
had put onto the computer,

was her older brothers porn stash.

And the pages were dirty,
yet beautiful.
The women in them – so fluffed
and painted.
And She drew in her mind
a collective picture
of all of the Women
that adorned the pages —
and on a conscious and subconscious level,
She thought
“Aha. This is what men want”
and so She lowered
her self desires,
her dignity and esteem;
And She did things that made her feel
dirty
like the pages of her brothers porn stash, but beautiful
like the rounded mouths on faces
of the Women in them.

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And He told Her
that She was beautiful,
as She lay with her head
pushed
into a pillow,
with Her ass up —
where Her face
should
have been.

Maybe if sex was taught to be a gift
from self, for self —
and She was dressed in pants
as a young child of 3,
because regardless of gender,
pants are comfortable.

If her teachers and her mother
slapped the hell
out of Harry Cock
for his forced finger expedition —

And his father
and the fathers of all the daughters
he touched,
made every bone in his body
and his bony little fingers,
— feel shame.

Because Women,
are no ones property
but there own.

If She was brought up
knowing
the diverse picture of
The Vagina.

And taught
the magic portal, that each holds;
Maybe —
she would have respected herself at 12,
like she does now —

After wiping, clearing, ripping skin off, shedding again and again and again — expelling enrooted ancestral shame
OFF OF
her body;
Like She has now achieved,
as a Woman
at 38 years old.

Maybe
her next life,
She’ll come back
a powerful man.
And burn
the patriarchy
to its core.

And feed the core
to the snakes
that will dive back in time
and bite with poison

Adams dick.

Photo by Autumn Goodman on Unsplash

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